Sushi Plate

There are few pieces of advice that can actually stand the test of time.  Advice concerning the benefits of sunscreen may be the best one, but my advice about fine dining and sushi restaurants has to come in a close second: Bring a calculator, and use it before you order.

Birdie's Contract, Part One

My phone chimed, like it does a hundred times a day, and I checked the text message. I absolutely hate voicemail, and I’ve trained my circle that the best way to get a hold of me is through instant message.  I was relieved when I read it that it wasn’t yet another request from one of my managers, but a very nice request from my mistress:

Birdie, your contract is up tonight, when you come home, be ready for some fun.

Neighbors

I bought my house a year ago as a short sale. The previous owner was underwater and owed more than the house was ever going to be worth, and so I got a very good deal.  One thing I didn’t count on was the isolation that my new suburban home would provide me.  Yes, there were other homes, technically, all around me, but they all were marked with those familiar green and white signs from the local realtor, who was evidently making a very good living putting them up.  Of the sixteen homes that were in my area, thirteen were vacant, and the ones that were occupied were on the other end of the block, a good half-mile away.  O, the new American dream!